National Free Tibet Day 23.10.10

Today my daughters and I are part of possibly the worlds smallest flash mob, organised to support Tibet for National Free/Save Tibet Day. Please check fb for links to follow and support.

Lost

Lost. Lost in burying the past. Lost in substance to drown the evil. Lost in soul searching for the will to find your way. Lost in love to help heal the wounds. Lost in procrastination amongst the well of brilliant idea's. Lost in laughter shared for better times. Lost in becoming. Lost in finding who you are. Lost behind the damage. Lost amongst the confronting truth. Lost beyond the lies and blame. Lost in being a better person. Lost in providing a better world for yours. Lost in finding the way. Lost in knowing. Lost in creating. Lost in music. Lost in lyrics. Lost in your muse. Lost.

blogging

Note to self.... need to make time to "blog"

Wonders how a grandmother could either forget her own grandchild's birthday or remember and just not even telephone>

Happy Llama
Sad Llama
Mentally Retarded Llama
Super Llama
Smoochy Llama
Baby Llama
Mama Llama
SQUIRREL!!!!

June Long Weekend 2010

Our day at the Hunter Valley Gardens with the family was awesome and so, so special. What beautiful memories to keep and share! The story book garden was a hit with everyone....

June Long Weekend 2010

This lovely lady with the wild hair performed some wonderful African Dance for us to the beat of the drums.

June Long Weekend 2010

Sunday night moments home away from home, feelin the love xxx

June Long Weekend 2010

Miss Scarlett Harper the musician

I look at your faces. I see these beautiful smiling expressions. The mask is part of your day to day life. I can see the emptiness. It's so deeply embedded. You are all so good at being Ostriches. Fear bought you this aversion in animal studies. None of you are at fault. Why do you feel the need to cover up his damage? He's gone. Fear or him cannot hurt you anymore. Why do you still want to hide? Why do you still allow this damage to flow? Into your lives, into your relationships, setting an avoidance example for your children? Can't you see? My vision, is it transperant? Am I wrong? I've never been in your place, but I'm affected and have been for a very long time. How is this set right? Does it ever happen? Do you and those you love every heal? I do love you.

Danni's Marakesh themed 40th birthday celebration. How much theme do these youngen's need to be in the spirit???? How cute are they? Scarlett and Tulleyah meditating...

Being part of Min Mia's workshop weekend at Hallow Wood.... amazing. I thought religious wise I could only relate to Buddhism however Biami makes a great case as does the dreamtime stories to share with our children. We are of this earth and need to look after this earth. Thank you Min Mia for sharing womens business with us. And to Lydia for sharing Hallow Wood... love the enclosed area it's fabulous!

After District we headed out to Rose Park and spent time with the beautiful and talented Jo, who made us cups of tea whilst we enjoyed the 150 acre views. A game of tennis with Tul and her friend Sarina was a fun way to end the day. I came across these humungous toadstools that were bright orange.

Cattai National Park was the setting for the Cross Country.... what a beautiful place at this time of year.

The first year Tulleyah has qualified for the District Cross Country! She was fantastic. After being home from school sick the day before, she ran the cross country 2kms and came 52nd out of 108. Fabulous effort for this little first timer.

Time. Why is there not enough of it these days? Even Tulley asked this week "why is there never enough time in a day Mum?". I told her when I was growing up time seemed endless. School days were long, we came home and played with kids in our street, got to go to the shop on our bikes, swam in the pool in summer.... All week was long whilst I awaited Friday afternoon to arrive when Mum would pack the car for our weekend "Up the River". We'd spend all weekend waterskiing, swimming, playing Parents against kids soccer or softball matches on the turf farm next door. We got to sneak out at night with our Dad's baring torches to help ourselves to a few watermelons or cobs of corn from the farms. Stealing is not cool however it seemed that everyone helped everyone and shared their goods, the bartyr system was in full swing without keeping account of who shared what. Picking oranges from the parks orchard, meeting new kids that came to share in the same weekend fun; parents playing cards; barbeques; playing tricks on each other.... the novelty of all the kids going skinny dipping in the river when the showers had run out of hot water, at a time when it wasn't taboo to bare your naked body in public besides we were only! No-one looked at you as if you should be hiding your body nor with any sexual link to your nakedness.
Why is it there was so much time in every single day back then?

Introducing Jake Harb....

Who is this person you may ask? Why does her deserve a mention, and a photo, in the Lizards Playground? He is Abbey's boyfriend! After Matt's extreme nervousness about meeting Jake and his parents last night - and taking him to one of our traditional gatherings, he was desperately hoping to find something 'wrong' about this mild mannered young boy....

The findings so far- he's 5ft 11, is extremely well mannered (and a little shy) plays football, oz tag, does athletics, studies hard (apparently) at a private catholic college, works out, shows respect for all elders, did I mentioned extremely well mannered? He (so far) treats Abbey beautifully (even after his introduction to the 'tribe' and the children of the tribe did their best to test the poor boy) AND he can play guitar!!! His folks even drove from Bankstown to Glossodia at 1am to pick him up, stayed for an hour chatting and getting to know Matt (I've met them a couple of times now, and spoken a couple of times on the phone to Mum Kerrie) as he'd never been here before to sleep over (in Tulley's bed mind you). Am I sounding a little too impressed for my first real boyfriend experience as a parent????? It all seems to smooth flowing and good to be true.... she is so happy!

Watching Matt not knowing how to react, or where to look when they were on the lounge together - Abbey with legs across his lap (her lying down, him sitting at her feet end of the lounge just so you get the picture) or when they were holding hands at the party, were a couple of the precious & priceless moments for me.

So for the Novacastrian side of the family.... have a look :)

Today

I have just wasted an entire day. Well, I wrote, I blogged, I uploaded pics, watched a Dvd, had a nap. So why do I feel like I've wasted a day??? That's wrong, where does this guilt birth itself...

Putty Beach Killcare Jan 2010

How photogenic is this child? For a baby who used to keep the most serious face no matter how much Matt and I tried to make her laugh, she's turned out pretty smiley and full of laughs. Love her so much!

Jackson turns 9

Mum, Jackson and Nan

Min Mia 2010

Being part of the wani ceremony... an uplifting experience

Min Mia 2010

Aboriginal symbol/prayer (?) type flags...

Min Mia 2010

I love this space at Hallow Wood. Sharing in Min Mia's womens workshop, being enlightened to Aboriginal elder womens lore and looking after our land was unique and amazing. How beautiful to have these dreamtime stories and ways of our land shared.

How did that become my fault?

Feeling you move inside of me; lying on your bedroom floor when it was empty contemplating how to decorate for your entry into the world in some form of neutral gender display only seems like yesterday. The beauty of learning to be a Mum and nurturing your world, taking what I needed from my own childhood and combining what I've grown into. My morals, my love, my ideals, my views, my learnings... It is all amazing, heart wrenching, beautiful. Yet no-one warns you of how everything somehow becomes your fault when teenage years arrive. Your best friend is fighting with you? Well yes that's my fault... I was not only miles away at the time this all took place & I'd left school in 1981 however that doesn't seem to matter. Your injury on the netball court? Yes, that ones my fault too even though I don't play netball & was just watching you play and supporting your team! The fight you had with your father last night? You guessed it, my fault but I was at my exercise class when that one happened. The list seems to be endless. Yet how, when you've done all that wonderous work in your childs formative years, as a Mother, does everything become your fault??? Yet I love you just the same.

Am I

What is it I need from you?
I know I would cope without hurdles
if you were gone...
Yet I know there would be an
unfilling space
that could never be filled
if you left.
If you left, it would be of this earth
because there is no place in life
without you or I
complimenting
one anothers space.
We live from each others
existence
yet our lives are damaged
from the effects
of our lives before we met.
Where do we go
from here?
What do we seek
to become?
Where is our Peace
for life?
Am I scared?
Am I beyond?
Am I..... Me???

RARE TO SEE US FOUR TOGETHER ON THAT SIDE OF THE CAMERA....

Ah the older cousin gives advice to the younger.... is this wise????

Well Blogging has taken a background position in life which is about to change. Aunty Mary and Justine have inspired me to write more, share pics and keep the contact happening! Soooooooooooooo..... we shall see!!!!